Stateline 1204 Master Script

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FOR CENTURIES IT’S BEEN THE MEN WHO HAVE GONE OFF TO WAR WHILE WOMEN HAVE STAYED BEHIND SHOULDERING THE BURDENS OF HOME AND FAMILY ALONE.  BUT WOMEN ARE AN INCREASINGLY SIGNIFICANT PART OF THE UNITED STATES’ MILITARY FORCE IN THE 21^ST CENTURY AND THEY’RE BEING DEPLOYED TO COMBAT ZONES IN INCREASINGLY SIGNIFICANT NUMBERS.

MILITARY DEPLOYMENTS MAY BE HARDER, EMOTIONALLY, FOR MOTHERS THAN THEY ARE FOR FATHERS.

S207/20:05:17

CHRIS THOMAS:  I THINK FOR ANY MOTHER THEY HAVE AN UNCONDITIONAL BOND WITH THEIR KIDS.

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DESPITE THE FACT THAT TODAY’S MILITARY FAMILIES CAN STAY IN TOUCH AS NEVER BEFORE, STAYING BEHIND IS NO PICNIC.

S401/16:29:18

MIKAL SOMMERDORF:  I TOLD HER THE OTHER DAY WHEN ARE YOU COMING HOME?  YOU’RE COMING HOME TOMORROW, RIGHT?  BECAUSE IT’S STRESSFUL.  IT’S HARD AS WELL, MAKING SURE EVERYTHING IS DONE.  AND NOT JUST DONE BUT DONE RIGHT.

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BECAUSE OF THE MILITARY’S CHANGING DEMOGRAPHICS, SOME OF TODAY’S MILITARY FAMILIES ARE HEADED BY AN INDIVIDUAL NEVER BEFORE SEEN IN THE HISTORY OF COMBAT.  ON THIS EDITION OF STATELINE, MEET MISTER MILITARY MOM.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

18:19:33   S-207  C0019

Good job Elijah, way to get in there!

It’s another Friday night in Norman. This may be Sooner territory but on this shirtsleeve night the Vikings are ahead. That’s number 14, Elijah Thomas. His Dad Chris and his brother…also Chris, are cheering him on from the sidelines.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

18:22:21   S-207  C0021

Look at Elijah; come on get in their buddy!

There’s somebody that would love to be here tonight, Mom. But Melissa Thomas is a world away, deployed with her unit from Tinker Air Force Base to somewhere in southwest Asia, leaving Dad to take care of things alone.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:05:04   S-207  C0109

Well I lost my crutch. So now I am kind of pulling the whole wagon. You know while she is deployed you know where before it was a team effort, you know we are down to a single ship now.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

18:27:04    S-207   C0025

What do you guys want for dinner? Want to do tacos? You cooking?

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:47:43   S-207  C0047

My kids kind of grew up in that environment at the age that they are now; they understand how it goes down. It is hard either way. Either way you slice it, it’s not easy.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

18:22:34   S-207  C0021

How was your day?

Long.

How long were you up in the air?

8 and a half hours.

Ouch.

Long day.

And the evening is just getting started. At home there’s dinner, homework, laundry and a dozen other chores before bed.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:05:04   S-207  C0109

So definitely time management is a necessity. If I have learned anything it is definitely how to manage time. Because it just doesn't seem like there is enough time in the day. Trying to work, take care of two kids, three dogs and maintain.

A 2009 Defense Manpower reports shows women make up 14 percent of the U-S active duty force. Out of the 1.4 million service members who have deployed to Afghanistan and Iraq, more the 200-thousand are women. Across the services, dads are estimated to make up between 6 to 10 percent of the spouse population.

TSgt. Chris

7:03:44   S-207  C0109

We met in Nebraska that was her first duty assignment.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:03:56   S-207  C0109

I met her just in passing I guess you could say. We were going through a course together. And we just kind of kept in touch after that.

Technical Sergeant Chris Thomas has been deployed several times since their marriage, but this time it was Melissa’s turn.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:05:48   S-207  C0109

As soon as she told me the news it was obviously nothing that either of us wanted to hear. Nor except. But there is always a chance that maybe it will slide. Maybe it will cancel.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:06:14 S-207   C0109

But at a certain point when you are about a week out. And they are finalizing everything. It is like “O-K, now it is time to switch gears and let's start getting stuff in order, let's start letting the kids know that hey it is going to happen.”

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:07:03 S-207   C0109

We just kind of set them down and just said “Hey Mommy has got to deploy for a little while. We are not sure when she is coming back yet.” This isn't the first time that they have went through it. You know so there is always that moment of silence and they are a little bit bummed about it. But they are really strong guys and they bounce back pretty well. 

(Nat Sound, Dinner)

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:04:41   S-207   C0109

We usually sit down as a family have dinner then we usually clean up all together. Then from there make sure these guys get all showered up and everything. Other than that it is about bed time around that area.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:04:15   S-207  C0052

Elijah was sick the day that she left, so you know trying to get him back up to health, and the fact that she was gone. When they are not feeling well, everything goes emotions etc.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:05:17   S-207  C0052

Yeah, she took it pretty hard. She knows that business is going to be taken care of and the boys are going to be fine. I think for any mother, they have an unconditional bond with their kids.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:05:41   S-207  C0052

But she has been pretty busy while she has been on the road, so I worry about her a lot.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:59:04   S-207  C0050

So the first couple of weeks are the hardest, and at the same time on this end we are getting into our routine. Once we get our routine down, we know what tomorrow is going to bring, we know what we are doing.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:48:03   S-207  C0047

A routine to me is definitely required. Because it keeps the chaos factor down. And it keeps the kids occupied. You know, idle hands, idle mind. Hey “I miss Mommy” and it just snowballs from there.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:49:00   S-207  C0047

That all comes to an end when it is bedtime you know. Everybody is kind of on their decline, and that is when it is like "Okay, Mom is missing," Hum, let me ask you a couple of questions.

It’s been three weeks since Mom said goodbye and keeping to the routine is paying off.

Chris Thomas

16:44:56   S-201   C0013

It has gotten easier; well it was hard then because we didn't know she had to leave so long. But now we are used to it.

Elijah Thomas

16:31:50   S-201   C0011

Yeah it is harder when mom is deployed.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:04:46   S-207  C0052

We get a lot of support from their teachers. We go up there and let them know, “Hey, mom is going to be out of town for X amount of weeks or days,” or “Daddy is going to be out of town” if they are acting a little different.

At school the boys try to explain the situation to their friends.

Chris Thomas

16:45:47   S-201    C0013

I say my mom just went on a trip, and all I do is tell them they are like so when are they going to be back? And I say a couple, a few months and they are like your parents really have to leave that long? And I say welcome to the military.

TSgt. Chris Thomas 

20:03:33   S-207  C0052

They are pretty strong guys; they actually handled it pretty well. Every couple of weeks like the last time that she was gone, they get a little emotional. But I think that they kind of look towards me to gauge how my facial expressions, and how I am acting.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:04:01   S-207  C0052

And I think a lot of their actions are kind of revolved around that. As long as dad is in a good mood and everything seems to be going smooth, you know they just kind of follow too.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:05:06   S-207  C0052

(Phone interrupts) trying to call base, not answering. That was her. And she usually calls before they go to bed. So, hopefully we will be hearing from her anytime now.

(On the Phone)

20:09:08   S-207  C0054

I was trying to get you to call me, Did Sylva’s call you?

What have you been up to?

It went really good, he played a lot actually.

No but he was pretty aggressive. He was in on a couple of tackles.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

20:22:09   S-207  C0057

I think everyone around here is kind of missing you too. Are you going to call me back a little bit later or are you going to. Alright, I love you.

(Alarm Clock)

The day starts early at the Sommerdorf house. Mikal and his two sons Tyler and Caden live near Moore, and just three weeks ago mom was here too. But now she is far away, deployed with her AWACs unit overseas.  So for four months the three guys will be on their own.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:30:12   C0023   S-401

Right now she is slated for a four month and yeah if it was any longer I do not know what I would do. I would probably go insane. I am still not truly sure how I am going to make it through the four months I have still got three to go and we will see.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:26:03    C0023   S-401

We met at the 552 TRS actually. It was great, we were both on break we both just happened to be on break time, and she came in and sat down A friend of mine knew a friend of hers and from there it went. She came over and the first words out of her mouth actually she asked me to marry her. I was shocked. I was like uhhh. No.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:26:29    C0023      S-401

From there we actually started talking though and started to go out on dates. And just really hit it off. So you know I have been very happy. So 11 years later, well 12 after everything is said and done, 11 years married and I can't ask for anything better.

Hale Sommerforf is on her fourth deployment and Mikal has been deployed eight times.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:27:36   C0023   S-401

I had my first son the first time she deployed. And this is the first deployment with both kids. So as much as I want to tell myself it is the same old story, You know the same old ball and dance, it is definitely not because my youngest son brings a whole new level of attentiveness with the special needs and the care he has to have.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:28:35   C0023   S-401

He was born with a seizure disorder and at fourteen fifteen months old we got a diagnosis for cerebral palsy as well and we have been battling that since. He is going to be 6 years old Christmas eve. And is equivalent to about a sixth month old. He is completely dependent on others to do everything for him. He can roll over onto his stomach and then cry and then you have to go flip him back over. To get him to his back.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:27:36   C0023   S-401

Luckily I have my older son because as much as he doesn't think it he is a great help around the house.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:28:26   C0023   S-401

And he seems to like it. He loves his brother so he like helping out with him as much as possible.

Mikal

17:03:38   C0027   S-401

He can hear he knows my voice. Yeah you know my voice.

Mikal Sommerdorf

17:06:05   C0027   S-401

He can definitely hear and he loves that. Just lay him in bed. That is my one savior without my wife is if he is screaming and he is just not calming down with me it is time to go lay you down in your bed and turn on your light and turn on your music. And just let you relax for a little bit. That can calm him down that way.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:29:05   C0023   S-401

To sit he has to be seated with someone or have someone around him propping him. He definitely brings a new challenge to life.

Tyler clearly misses his mom, but busies himself by reading, helping around the house and hanging out with friends.

Tyler Sommerdorf

16:05:35   C0021   S-401

I tell them that she is leaving. I remember that Cole and Hunter they are twins they are some of my best friends. I told him she was leaving he was like how long I said four months he was like Harsh. It was funny.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:32:26   C0024   S-401

The first week he got into some trouble at school. Just not typical Tyler for the last couple of school years was disrespectful to his teachers.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:33:08   C0024   S-401

We went and talked to the teachers, because I didn't know if he had told them or not. I come to find out that he hadn't.

Every morning another member of the team comes in to take care of Caden.

Mikal Sommerdorf 

16:52:52   C0026   S-401

With Caden's needs we had to get a nanny, because with his needs he cannot stay in a normal day care unfortunately. So we had to go out and find a private nanny to come to our home to care for him. And she is a saving grace. Honestly she truly is.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:53:11   C0026   S-401

She is one of very few people I actually trust Caden with. But she has been here for almost two years now, caring for him.

(Nat Sound with Mary)

Where loved ones used to wait weeks for a letter from the front families now can see and talk to their soldier in real time using an internet connection called Skype.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:33:36   C0024   S-401

Unfortunately right as I get home in the afternoon is generally when she is going to bed if we are lucky then we can schedule something in the morning, if we can.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:36:17   C0024   S-401

But it is nice to be able to get onto Skype and be able to see her and hear her.

Tyler Sommerdorf

05:54:42   C0004   S-520

So how are you doing, how is Caden.

Tyler Sommerdorf

05:55:21   C0004   S-520

Sorry, it was actually three in the morning your time thanks very much.

Ok and then right after that he woke up and then went back to bed and then didn't want to wake up this morning when I went to give him his medicine.

Tyler Sommerdorf

05:51:52   C0004   S-502

Oh I said how is your science project coming along?

Oh it is coming.

Have you even started it?

Yes, yes I have thank you very much.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:39:27   C0025   S-401

So when she is not here she wants those details. To know how things are going. So that way she can still feel part of what is going on here. You know but me I have lived it all day so the last thing I want to do is rehash it again. But you know I try my best to give her the details she wants. So that she can feel close to them and feel close to me. You know so she can actually feel a part of home again.

Mikal Sommerdorf

10:32:35   C0003   S-402

And that’s what happens when you have an old laptop, it overheats and it shuts down.

Luckily there’s more ways than one to keep in touch, and when Skype goes down they switch to the Blackberry.

Mrs. Sommerdorf

06:04:04   S-108    C0019

I am consistently on wireless communication via my Blackberry messenger to my husband and we are constantly talking. I try to stay in touch on a daily basis.

Mrs. Sommerdorf

05:59:32   S-108    C0019

You miss the simplest tasks we get to go do things together and cuddle up on the couch and Tyler is my huge cuddle bug and Caden will cuddle with his dad and we will watch movies together and that is what I miss the most. Just having them with me.

06:00:03   S-108    C0019    Mrs. Sommerdorf

I have not had a single day off since then and time is flying by a lot faster that way. It doesn't get easier, but my older son Tyler he is coming into his parent being gone at random times so I think it is easier for him to be away from me than it is for me to be away from him. And it is my first time leaving my younger son Caden behind.

Mrs. Sommerdorf

06:04:57   S-108    C0019

I will wake up in the morning and the first thing I will see is my phone blinking and I check my messages and just the three simple words of I love you gets me going and reminds me that I have a wonderful person at home waiting for me.

Mrs. Sommerdorf

06:05:44   S-108    C0019

And usually he is the last person that I will text before I go to sleep. So in a sense he is the first person that I am in contact with in the morning and the first person that I am in contact with before I go to bed. That is an amazing feeling.

Mrs. Sommerdorf

06:08:28   S-108    C0019

Alright love you,

I love you. Bye

With everything started on the right track Tyler packs up for school and dad takes off to Tinker.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:29:18   C0023   S-401

Like I said I kept trying to tell myself it was the same old Dance and three weeks in and I am. I told her the other day when are you coming home. You are coming home tomorrow right? Because it is stressful it is it is hard as well. Making sure everything is done, and not just done but done right.

A few miles away in Norman Chris is sending his crew to school.

Thomas 

6:26:22   S-207  C0099

You guys ready? Yep let's go.

Thomas Family

6:26:34   S-207  C0099

Do you have everything is there anything that I need to send back to school with you. I was looking through this paper work last night.

All of that has been corrected.

Did you turn it back in though?

Yeah.

A few minutes later Thomas is on the job just across the parking lot from Sommerdorf.

TSgt Chris Thomas

8:41:04   C0002    S-702

Hey Sergeant Thomas. What's going on boss? How was your flight yesterday? It was long man, 8.1

TSgt. Chris Thomas

9:22:23 S-702    C0035

In the event that we both get deployed, we are required to keep on file on squadron management something called a family care plan. Basically what that entails for something like that comes up, hey what are we going to do with the kids? So there has to be some type of a plan of action and order.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

9:23:13 S-702   C0035

My plan is not to go anywhere. However, in the event that I do Melissa's mother, we probably, we have family in the Arkansas area. So, for very, very short notice within like hours we can have some family in town.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

9:23:44 S-702   C0035

We would want to keep as much of the normal life with them, their school, etc. So the last thing that we would want to do would be to break up their band, and interrupt their normal routine.

Both parents being in the military can be difficult but it has advantages.

Mikal Sommerdorf 

16:44:28   C0025   S-401

You know I am still in the same squadron that my wife is deployed with. So you know I am their getting updates about how our guys are doing over there as it is. Where as a normal civilian spouse. They are sitting at home the only update they are getting is from their spouse in the deployed location.  

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:55:00   C0026   S-401

But the bottom line is that she is over in an area that isn't really safe. It doesn't necessarily have to be in the plane where she gets attacked. She could easily get attacked on the base. You see stuff on the news all the time about areas over in the Middle East that the base is being attacked. And it hits home and you have to worry about it a little bit. But you can't dwell on that and it helps being able to talk to her. Knowing that hey she is still safe.

After a full day at work it’s off to home and the chores that await.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:56:42     S-207    C0050

Laundry is like never ending, you know, because the kids like Elijah, will ride his bike to school. Well, it is kind of cold in the mornings. So he will take like a jacket or a pull over, and stuff it in his bag, along with anything else. So by the time he gets home, he is ready to change clothes.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:57:05     S-207    C0050

Kind of run though like two outfits a day. So laundry is a constant...and my wife usually is the gate keeper of the laundry. I mean, I know how to do it, but she is much better at it.

Sommerdorf Nats

15:35:51   C0004    S-401

Welcome home…not much, he has had a good day? He has finished his water and has had an OK day at therapy. He had a great day at school. And he ate really nicely for dinner. Hopefully we will have a better afternoon for you as well. Alright thanks, see you in the morning then. Good job dude sit up.

TSgt. Mikal Sommerdorf

15:33:30   C0003    S-401

So he has had a good day! He has had two and a half bottles of water all of his medication. No fits when he was eating which was really pleasant. He was considerate and kind. He has had a great day. He was laughing when I picked him up it was funny. Therapy? It went.

One of those days. It was actually evaluation day and he didn't quite hit all of his notes.

TSgt. Mikal Sommerdorf 

15:34:02   C0003    S-401

But other than that I am good. I am Done

-Go ahead and head home. Can you sit up?

Your other kid is in his room

Sounds good thank you Mary. See you in the morning.

Ty Get out here.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:30:48   C0023   S-401

Now it is not a matter of who is going to cook dinner. It is I am going to cook dinner. After dinner I have got to clean up the kitchen. I have got to get his medicine ready; I have got to feed him. You know which is where it comes into being a great help having my son Tyler.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:31:19   C0023   S-401

Because when I am doing household work he is doing work with the animals getting them fed getting them out for the night. Getting everybody else settled in for the evening getting them ready to go to bed, then gets himself in bed.

And as the day draws to a close Tyler’s thoughts drift to his mother and the day she will be home.

Tyler Sommerdorf

06:45:16    S-520

I really don't talk about the subject I just don't think about it; to me time really passes by a lot faster if you don't really dwell on the subject. I hadn't even realized one month had gone by because one month had gone by I thought it had been two weeks.

Tyler

06:45:46   S-520

I say it is both just as hard for me and for all of us.

If everything goes according to plan a plane will bring mom home in four months to a cheering crowd of happy faces. Children happy to see their mom, and husbands who made it possible for their wives to serve their country.

Mikal Sommerdorf

16:42:00   C0025   S-401

I miss my family when I am gone, but it makes it so sweet when you come home and they are there. They are waiting for you to get of the plane and the hug you. They kiss you. You know, and yeah they are crying but it is generally tears of happiness that you are home. You know people are like “Why is everybody crying?” And it is tears of happiness. You know they are not sad any more.

TSgt. Chris

19:59:04   S-207  C0050

The first couple of weeks are the hardest.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

19:59:19   S-207  C0050

That is when things kind of level off. And then it gets exciting the last couple of weeks because she is coming home. Let’s clean the house up, let’s make sure everything is on point.

Chris Thomas Jr.

16:48:49   S-201    C0013

I am going to give her a big hug and ask her what she got me there.

TSgt. Chris

7:07:41 S-207   C0109

I will never be able to replace Mom.

TSgt. Chris Thomas

7:08:02 S-207   C0109

I do my best to fill in. I try to show as much compassion and stuff to them as I can. But I know to myself I will never be able to replace her.

TRT

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ALL BRANCHES OF THE MILITARY REQUIRE SINGLE PARENTS AND DUAL-MILITARY COUPLES FILE A “FAMILY CARE PLAN” WITH THEIR UNITS.  THE PLAN SPECIFIES WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN IN THE EVENT OF DEPLOYMENT, TRAINING, OR REMOTE ASSIGNMENT.

THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO THE THOMASES.  SERGEANT CHRIS THOMAS WAS SENT OVERSEAS WHILE THIS PROGRAM WAS BEING PREPARED AND MELISSA’S MOTHER, WHO LIVES IN ARKANSAS, MOVED TO NORMAN TEMPORARILY TO CARE FOR THE BOYS.

RECENTLY THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT INCLUDED CUSTODIAL PARENTS OF CHILDREN FROM PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS IN ITS FAMILY CARE PLAN REQUIREMENT.

THE PENTAGON’S IDEA IS TO REMOVE A BIT OF THE UNCERTAINTY FROM THE ALREADY UNCERTAIN LIVES OF MISSUS AND MISTER MILITARY MOM.